Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Dear Son of Mine:{On a Day of First}

Dear Son, 

I see you.
I see you there alone in a new desk amidst a row of girl classmates.
The room, the teacher, even the folder sitting on the desk before you all scream of uncertainty and new requirements.
I see how you are unsure that you will be able.
I see your fear of failure.
I see your gathered bravery which forbids emotion, keeps your eyes low, and your fingers fidgeting.

Son, I see you!

 I  also see Another; the One who is with you; 
loving, certain, constant, able, powerful, caring, 
leading, providing, comforting, enabling,
 receiving and never turning away your need. 

Son, I saw you last night when you crept out of your dark room;
the room where you brother slept quickly and with an ease that was alluding you.
You shared your heart and your tears with Daddy and I.

We saw you. We heard you. 

You let us rub your back and tell you that we understood.  We both remember.
Your spirit calmed as we told you about a young man just like you....
One who watched the horizon with vigilance.  
The first one to pinpoint trouble and know a need for help.
The one whose resolve and deep-rooted call to protect matched your's.
He measured the trouble and knew with certainty that the trouble was too much, too big, too powerful.
Like you, he ran for help. 
Ran to one with a big faith and told of the horizon's approaching danger. 

That one prayed for him like Daddy and I pray for you.
"Open his eyes, LORD, that he may see. Show him, make him aware. Lift his eyes to his true reality." 
that he might see....
that he may know.... 
that he might rest; in the deepest part of his soul; rest."

Because Son, this is what is truer than the new teacher; more real than the demands you face in 4th grade.
This is what that other young man saw, and in a flash, was changed by forever.

We are surrounded; completely encompassed behind, before, and above. 
To the farthest North, South, East and West.
Deeper than the greatest depth, higher than the mind can reach and beyond...
We are covered. 
His Presence in fiery wings; chariots of gold behind steeds of His majesty circling, pacing and pawing the ground; impenetrable. 

You listened as we painted this picture for you with words.
His Holy Spirit within you moved and helped your unbelief.
You returned to your pillow.
You woke early asking me for direction through the pages of your Bible,
so that you might lay eyes on this story again for yourself.
You read, you wrote. I saw your head bowed over our life-scratched slab of table top.
I saw that you were asking to have you eyes open; to see. 

I know that as we headed off and entered that yellow brick building together,
the horizon was still very real;
taking on specific tangibility as you hung your backpack and slid into that new seat.

I saw you....and then I did the hardest thing I ever do.

I left.

Physically moving my legs in the wonderful truth that you belong to HIM, not to me.

I did not leave you alone. I left you surrounded. 
His guard over you is more than I could ever provide, 
His love steadfast, where mine is tinged with sin, 
His purposes perfect and powerful unlike anything I can even think up. 

In a few short hours, I will circle the minivan around to the spot where you will climb in.
I will be so happy to see you and eager to ask how you saw today; how you saw HIM.

Together, we will harness our imaginations in faith and race towards God's promises.
Together, we will lift our eyes to see His wall of fire all around us, and His glory in our midst. 

Bring on 4th grade! 

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