Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Soul-Hungry{{a post about feasting learned}}

It's been a bit since I've sat and tapped away at these keys.
Abba and I have an agreement about this blogging thing. 
If He wishes me to type, to share, He causes the words to flow from my heart out of the places beneath my fingernails into pixilated characters on this screen.  
When that flow is not present, I know a freedom to enjoy the rhythms of my soul flowing by pen onto journal pages, known to His companionship, 
voiced in the ears of close ones....

One cannot always string out their soul into words, and yet, the glory is so big, so precious, so pivital that I have not had interest to type of anything less.

Even as I sit here this morning, in a place of new edges, fresh winds, and piled-up joy, I feel sad with the limits of my communication. 
How does one position the very stirrings of Glory into the stuff of vocabulary? 
Does it not seem that only ever is one small facet of this brilliant diamond made visible to the mind's awareness, though the soul knows intimately the radiance of the entire gem in limitless facets?
Is this not the very stuff of Majesty bright, for if a soul could adequately express it's meeting points with glory, there would be an end, a finish, like a story brought to it's closing chapter after which only the imagination can stretch further.  
Not so with Abba's revealing beauty bright.
Limitless, boundless, reaching, always stretching further and deeper, and fuller than can be known... not in imagination, but in truth, 
for as far as the imagination can stretch, deep reality of His glory is found with the cognition of yet more.

This post comes from a question.
One that has been ringing with increasing volume and clarity until the very beat of my physical heart seems to pound this out.
"Are you soul-hungry?"

Does your heart yearn so hard that your head can hurt with longing?

Do you hunger to hunger more;
for so very much more of Him?
For more of knowing His presence, tasting His goodness, hearing His voice?

Do you long to be free of your cumbersome worries, fears, and wonderings after small and useless things where unrest can take hold so very quickly?

Do you want to be entwined into the fabric of Trinitarian fellowship so tightly that the strands of your soul are unreachable by any other pull?

Do you move in a mercy which only intensifies your longing; 
the type of longing which creates space in your soul for more of His glory?

Do you receive His touch of life moving along your cracked places; 
love's fire soldering new soul ground on which to pile-up the stuff of holy?

Does He take you to the edges of your hunger and build out more of Himself into the grid of your knowing that you might hunger your way still further into His presence?

Because here is this truth:
"He turns the desert into pools of water,
the parched land into springs of water,
And there He allows the hungry to dwell {abide}."*

This dwelling hungry. Abiding in longing....
To simultaneously yearn for and gorge on abundance; 
desperate and filled; satisfied into a hungering-on.
This is where the soul grows. 

If we do not know a deep craving for more of His glory, it is not because we have fed upon Him and are filled.
It is because we have pulled ourselves up to the wrong table and stuffed full with the sawdust crumbs of an empty food. 

Because here is this real thing:
The soul was made to hunger after God.
"He satisfies the longing soul, 
and the hungry soul He fills with good things."*

The soul which hungers hard knows a full-filling not that it may no longer hunger, 
but that it may feed itself richly again and again on the Bread of Life.

This is real fullness; this insatiable craving for more is given to find it's filling in God's limitless plans to satisfy, because the hunger of a soul filled up on glory is not an empty gnawing pain, but rather a compulsive and fierce forging into deeper and deeper places of knowing His very heart. 

And so today the words of His working have flowed beyond interactive prayer, journal pages, and the listening of close ones... 
It breeds worship to tap out these limited words about a limitless fullness. 
I am so very hungry while abundantly filled.
In this I know only deeper satisfaction awaits...
and the feast continues on. 

*scripture referenced from Psalm 107

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