Tuesday, February 25, 2014

...a hard stop for Grace!

cried at the dentist today. 
It wasn't the hygenist' fault. 
She was doing her job. 
Her own babies at home.

It wasn't her exacting words that slammed into me.
It was me. 
My failure. 
My failure slammed into me. 

[My Failure to understand that appointments must be booked just so.] [My failure to perceive that a bracket cannot be fixed when only a wire adjustment has been scheduled.]
[My failure to remind a 7 yr old about the dangers of pizza crust.]
[His eager hunger and years of habit had chomped into the tough bread; too tough for the delicate wires residing in his mouth.]

I sat there on a plush leather couch, my son stretched out flat nearby as new wires were fed into his mouth. 
I sat so aware of my desperate, constant,  inability. 
So clear, I could taste again my neediness. 
Absolute need.

But there was another truth. 
I preached it hard, silent. 
My hands of faith grasping, pulling, at the Steadfast Rock strong beneath my feet. 
I layed my weary cheek upon the cool, smooth presence of this Truth.

Ps 139. 

Not one single time will I sit down or rise from that particular leather couch apart from His knowledge, His ordaining, and His presence.
He is there with me. 
Every. Single. Time.

The hygenist didn't see my tears. 
She hadn't seen us since we arrived. 
Did I see her?
I asked God to help me see her. 

I found my voice and humbly apologized for my lack of clarity in booking the appointment. 
I told her it was kind of her to help us as much as she could. 

I saw her. 
Her hard day. 
Her longing to be somewhere else. 
Her need for a lavish, absorbing grace. 

As the words left my mouth, technology chimed. 
Some beeps and a chime. 
Two texts and an email arriving in harmonious succession.

I would not read them until later, but they arrived in THAT moment. 

She said: "Love you, sister. I pray this week is filled with belly laughs, "hard stops" for reveling in His grace and lots of "wow, I'm blessed" moments!"

Another said: "Hi! Hope your day is great! Nothing else. Love ya!"

From my FavoriteLove: "Hi angel - just thinking about you... So glad to just be coming home tonight!  How did your sm group go today?  Love you...~steve."

Words. Simple and profound at once.

They arrived in THAT moment. 
Together. Precise. 
A demonstration of Grace. 
A tender squeeze of His present-ness with me. 
A glimpse of His heart for my glory in Him! 

...a hard stop for Grace! 

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