The Whole Beautiful Thing of Oneness {{ a post about him }}

There are these moments of clarity..

His text this morning-

"Don't make the bed."

{there was more; a context}

Childcare and laundry, that was all he wanted, all that he was allowing.

Oh and words...he wanted me to do my consuming and constructing of words strung out...

His care for me - for the all of me. 

Washing, renewing, nurturing, refreshing, growing, wooing, meeting....

really a full tending.

It's like Jesus. 

And here in my thinking, my reading....my tapping out words; 

they all seem to circle back to him, begging me to give them voice.
If there was a mountain top nearby - from there.

The clarity hits....

Today, like yesterday and tomorrow, 

Today is the day that I fall in love with him again.

It's a deeper and not yet all at once; arrival and anticipation all tangled in happiness.

And I think that's the whole beautiful thing of oneness. 

I don't write songs, and I am even further from performing one. 

Others do both well, and so I send him one.
One that is true.

The Answer of a Continued-Asking {{a soul's communing}}

They were so hopeful-
hearing of just how low the wind was going to plunge our temps this 
morning...

"can you check again, Mom?"
"We'll have a snow day, I just know it," 
"Another day off school would be so epic" 

{ "epic" the word of the month with one of our people.  

It weaves itself into literally any conversation and is used generously. 

Could he be my child? 

His fascination with these letter-groupings which make up our language; 

welcoming each new one as a well-studied friend, 

bringing it out into use with the flourish of a treasure displayed?  

yes. this small amazing person is mine.}

The temps dropped far, but not far enough, 
and we all bundled into this morning {early ....very early}, backpacks and lunch bags in tow. 

We took the plunge back into routine with all of these happy memories floating fresh. 
Perhaps it is in the very crook of recent rest and rythms resumed that the answers flash, 
and light shines into new places. My Father works that way.... He does.

I've been praying, asking, softly repeating my query... 
"What am I to ask You for?"
"How do you want me to pray?"
"I want to be in the place of your will with the bend of my heart, and the pulse of my soul....
Show me?"

Silence. 

His voice always comes, 
but I find He often first gives me room to simply know His presence.
He desires my communion with Him far above my doing for Him. 
Communion is conversational, a lingering. 
I know this....
I am learning this...

{Like the surprise of vibrant jungle flowers blooming under a glass roof here in frozen Milwaukee.}

Waiting.

Its is both preparatory and expectant.  

Anticipation is often the missed and hidden blessing when we clamor for answers. 

I will not hide myself behind the words typed here in this place.
I will be real with you.
I am a clamor-er.  

A veritable expert in the non-waiting posture and all associated attitudes and activities. 
I like to know where I'm headed, when and with what. 

Waiting.

It is a swim up against the strong currents of what comes easy to me, 
but who ever said easy is happy or good or best?  
Who said we were even created for easy?
Was it some slimy voice back there in the garden? - 
with a message now clinging to every human heart like an old skin that needs shedding...

And shed it does when touched by His life-giving Light.

Explore this with me for a moment:

Can you imagine that exhilarating feel of water rushing past your legs as you wade into a stream, or running through your fingers as you lean over the boat's edge? 
My daughter loves for her daddy to hold her in place 
at the bottom of our gym's water slide, "just so I can feel the waves on me"....
Imagine that.... 

or what about wind in your hair? 
 {Let's all have a Titanic movie moment here?}

Can we not learn from our own thrill-seeking selves to free fall into trust? 

This is the feel of the Holy Spirit moving us up and out and against the current of easy.
Intimidating at first, and sometimes hard, but oh always the thrill as we allow our Father to move us cross-current where all of the easy, normal, grace-missing stuff rushes past and our souls are filled, happy, ecstatic with knowing Him. 

And so I've waited against my urges to have something written in my journal. 
The birth of January 2015 came and passed smoothly.  
I asked and I waited.  

Was I listening close enough?
What was He going to lead me to?
Something solid that I could articulate to another....
The focus for this year? A scripture? A word?
{Double points for one of each corresponding to the other right? }

This morning, His answer came....
...or began to come. 

As I formed playdoh-snowballs and counted out numbers with my favorite K4 Class; Shining eyes and smiles over new knowledge grasped. Such little tiny hands....

As I picked my way over brightly crystallized rural roads, stopping at home for yoga pants and to start another load of laundry.
{It's a plunge back into routine remember...}

There were the songs in my earbuds at the gym followed by the smiles shared with strangers over fresh produce and meats at the grocery.
 {I am predictably post-Christmas-inspired towards clean eating. Can I get an Amen?}

In all of these places: these moments strung out because time envelopes me....
The One who is outside of time, but Who willingly came into time, and Who ultimately uses time for His glory...
He began to speak. 
A gentle, surprising answer to my questioning over a New Year's focus. 

He told me...
There wouldn't be one scripture, or one word. 
There will be many.  
Many words of His and from Him that will interweave the tapestry of my year. 

This year it's not about the words themselves, but about Him as The WORD, 
And about my hearing.... simply. to . hear.

That I receive, and that I record His speaking faithfulness. 
This is what He has begun to spell out in my soul.
This is His invitation into a newness of relationship with Himself where former methods of spiritual focus are no longer needed.  He is teaching me to BE with HIM.
He is that loving and good!

I have been asking, and the answer is that I will continue asking 
like a breathing in and out; 
bending my heart as the pulse of my soul presses hard into hearing. 

This is what I long for.
Communion. 
With all of it's messy realness, up-stream swimming, clamoring-prohibited-waiting...

This is what I long for....with a certainty as crystallized as the ice covering our road.
This is what I long for.... with the pounding beat of a great work-out tune.
This is what I long for.... with unfading inspiration towards clean-eating for the soul. 

Communion.
And in the very asking for it; pressing after it; leaning into it...
I hear Him.

He is giving it to me....it's right here, in the asking.

"Let us know; let us press on to know the LORD; his going out is sure as the dawn; he will come to us as the showers, as the spring rains that water the earth.”

Hosea 6:3

Musings on a Peculiar View {{a new year's post}}

It's a peculiar view for this New Year's start.
We welcome January from a particularly wonderful place of certain-uncertainty 
{or uncertain-certain?}. 

To stand here holding clear sight into a mist of unknown...
To feel strongly aware of what waits for us and where, but without a how, or when...
To be so unified on a particular hope {he & I} with so little "real information",
humanly speaking, but THAT'S JUST IT! 

We aren't speaking of a human call, and in that, 
we have everything firm and concrete to anchor our sights on,
and every reason not to be surprised by it all.

For it is God; THE GOD of  all things, always and everywhere, 
who has spoken this call into our walk. 
 {it's details currently kept between He and us}
Over the past 10 months,
{though He was preparing us long before that}, 
He has repeated it, affirmed it, and refined it from a vague wondering to a precise purpose, 
and at every juncture given such a tight unity { he & I}
that it has often left us speechless and wonder-giggling at the Spirit's power.

His call has come clear. 

Not as one we would not have thought to ask for, and though it still lacks a time-table, it unfurls strong before us.
Stretching out into these next 12 months like a lush green pathway running ahead into a soft and bright mist.

With just enough glory pouring out to fill our hearts in rays of anticipation and eagerness, and yet enough left hidden that we might remain expectant and trained by the Shepherd of our wait and wonder, the pathway ahead smacks of grace!

His call has come clear.
Years of faith-stretched and strengthened muscles now to move.
Seasons of equipping and tending to be launched on.
He has given us a purpose to press towards, 
yet we know that the fruit lies not in an "arrival", 
but in the very pressing-on-process itself. 

So we will press into each step of this pathway where there is beauty to gather all along the way. 

We do not seek to reach a destination 
{we are pilgrims in this place afterall}, 
but to know our Shepherd Guide all the more.  

Never before has a new year given this particular view, 
and yet always has each new year proved His faithfulness.... 
SO GOOD GRIEF- are we ever excited to mark and marvel at the start of 2015!!!

What about you? 

What does your New Year view hold? 

What is He speaking to you? 

Are you listening?
Are you starting out so that you will know Him more at the end?

Are you marking His hand enough to trace out the BIG grace and HUGE joy of it all???

"Let us know; let us press on to know the LORD.

His going out is as sure as the dawn.

He will come to us as the showers, as the Spring rains, that water the earth,"

Hosea 6:3

Advent's Joy{{how to unwrap it for yourself by wrapping it up for another}}

" ...blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment 

of what was spoken to her from the Lord.” *

Can you imagine it? 
The sudden and explosive joy which filled her as her niece walked into the room; 
joy so powerful that her baby jumped {not kicked, turned, or rolled - but jumped} inside her womb, and her Spirit-filled heart overflowed with tumbling-out words of big joyous blessing!
What a gift of confirmation this must have unwrapped for her, soothing the isolation, uncertainty, and discomfort that unexpected pregnancy in old age inevitably brought. {not to mention the suddenly deaf/mute husband}.

“My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior..."*

Can you imagine it?
The joy that must have flowed over her very soul to hear her Aunt acknowledge, affirm, and speak worship over the small baby growing inside her belly?
To have another human unwrap and even rejoice in her divinely parented pregnancy as the gift that it was; soothing the isolation, rejection, uncertainty, and even danger that she had suddenly found herself living under.

Elizabeth's words to Mary... Mary's response of echoing praise...
These were more than the customary greetings, or the cultural tradition of blessing one another...
These were words authored by The Joy Giver; filling both women to give and receive to give again with a joy unlike any they had ever known. 

Advent's Joy.
It is the very presence of Christ with us. 
His Spirit filled both the older and the younger; giving them eyes to see His work in the other and words to pour out joyous worship over it all. 
And here it is; the recipe for a big joy given and received and multiplied infinitely....
To lift our eyes off of ourselves, our cares, our plans, our needs....
To so closely cultivate our souls in the very glory of Jesus with us, that we cannot but see His work in the lives of others, and here is the secret wonderful....
This is where our hearts will leap, and we will bounce for joy, and our mouths will pour out blessing...
This is where the big and real and true joy of Advent comes to life...
Because it is in the beholding of God with us, revealed to us, that worship is born. 
And it is in the blessing of His work in the lives of others, that true joy is received. 

A tended-soul filled with His presence...
Will you wrap up this gift of yourself for others? 

Spoken words of joyous blessing over His work...
Will you unwrap this gift in the lives of others?

The giving-and-receiving-to-give-again nature of Advent Joy...

how will you share it today?

*{Luke 1:39-55}

In those days Mary arose and went with haste into the hill country, to a town in Judah, and she entered the house of Zechariah and greeted Elizabeth. And when Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, the baby leaped in her womb. And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit, and she exclaimed with a loud cry, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb! And why is this granted to me that the mother of my Lord should come to me? For behold, when the sound of your greeting came to my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.”

And Mary said,

“My soul magnifies the Lord,

and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,

for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant.

For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed;

for he who is mighty has done great things for me,

and holy is his name.

And his mercy is for those who fear him

from generation to generation.

He has shown strength with his arm;

he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts;

he has brought down the mighty from their thrones

and exalted those of humble estate;

he has filled the hungry with good things,

and the rich he has sent away empty.

He has helped his servant Israel,

in remembrance of his mercy,

as he spoke to our fathers,

to Abraham and to his offspring forever.”

The Conception of a Radical Joy{{reflection on Advent's third week}}

It's the third week of Advent; the JOY week. 

My advent guide directs me in focus surrounding the Shepherd's reception and response to announcement of Jesus' birth, and that has been rich, but for some reason, I've been drawn back further....
My Bible page flipping left to right and my heart drawn to the cascading strands of joy in an earlier, although equally glorious, announcement. 

And this, this is what has gripped my heart; 
The conception of a radical joy in ageless gospel plans.

There is this incredible, untouchable, unconditional, and unending joy 
found right there in Luke 1:30.

"Do not be afraid, for you have found favor with God."

These words flowed from an angel's lips and landed with purposeful comfort and hope on Mary's heart right before her world would be turned upside down
by a working-the-impossible God. 

In receiving God's favor, she held what every human soul is created desperate for. 
She received it spoken audibly, clearly, right there into her human ears. 

And yet I've wondered if there isn't so much more wrapped up in these eleven words strung out on the tissue thin page of my Bible?
More than the mere narrative documentation of a historical conversation, 
as vital as that is....

The Angel declared it. He spoke it right out as a declaration of absolutes..

The Father had set His favor upon her; 
His choosing, pursuing, enabling, life-giving love.
Jesus, the Christ, formed inside of her and born from her 
would be the rescue of nations...
The Holy Spirit as the divine conduit, hovering, filling, 
working-out this glory. 

Oh what incredible joy is iridescently mirrored in these words,
{ where even down to the declaration of Jesus' conception in Mary's womb}, 
there is a brilliantly bright reflection of Yahweh's ageless gospel plans.
My salvation, your salvation, the soul-rescue of every heart made alive through faith...
The Father sets His choosing-favor.
The Son rescues, makes-new, and flows through to others.
The Spirit fills, speaks into, and enables...

This is our salvation; our soul's hope and life.

After the angel declared it, Mary responded...

"Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word."

And I wonder if her response doesn't hold more than the surrender and obedience which is often, and rightly, portrayed?
Does it not hold those things as strands interwoven with incredible joy, excitement and even desperation? 

For to truly hear God speak this stuff of gospel favor and promised rescue into one's soul cannot but ignite sheer wonder, bliss, and confident entreaty for it's fruition. 

And herein lies the recipe for a fear-killing, game-changing, life-altering, outrageous joy in this third week of Advent:
It is a gospel-desperation leaning hard into the declaration of His filling promise which births joy.

To bend our ears low over familiar words; tuning the channels of our heart's love and soul's joy to the waves of His choosing, calling, redeeming, giving, pursuing, always-near, never-leaving, full-to-overflowing love.
Hear his words, O soul of the filled-up-on-joy people. 
He has set His favor upon you!  He is birthing His likeness in and through you! He fills you!

And may all of us, the joy-full people, jump with a giddy joy, clapping hands, and happy shouts...
desperate for His glory above  any. other. thing.  
because....

"...of His kingdom, there will be no end."

And Mary said,

“My soul magnifies the Lord,

and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,

for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant.

For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed;

for he who is mighty has done great things for me,

and holy is his name.

And his mercy is for those who fear him

from generation to generation.

He has shown strength with his arm;

he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts;

he has brought down the mighty from their thrones

and exalted those of humble estate;

he has filled the hungry with good things,

and the rich he has sent away empty.

He has helped his servant Israel,

in remembrance of his mercy,

as he spoke to our fathers,

to Abraham and to his offspring forever.”

A Synagogue, a Scroll, and The Full-filling WORD{{an advent worship post}}

"...and the scroll of the prophet Isaiah was given to him.

He unrolled the scroll and found the place where it was written..." *

Here it was, the before-ages-began intentions of benevolent grace, 
your pursuing and saving love, 
strung out on words formed by Deity's vocal chords and resounding in real time to humanity's ear.
This was your custom, and I wonder...
Could this somewhat rote and habitual moment have been any more powerful?
Could these words, otherwise familiar and expected, have been any more profound?

This was your custom, and I wonder...
Were your sandals dusty as you entered that place?
Was there a certain spot in the room where you always sat?
What had you eaten for breakfast on this day when you would stand before them and unleash proclamation of your identity pounded out in a prophet's words fulfilled?

This was your custom, but on this day it was to be different.
After you read the familiar words of good news, liberty, healing, and unending favor; 
the stuff of which all who heard you were soul-desperate for, 
you rolled up the scroll and found your seat.
But this time there would be more words...

Words, sacred and divine, just like those in the scroll returned to the attendant but still warm from your touch.
These words would flow over your lips, not read off of a scroll, 
but from the very pages of your heart; the very heart of God.

"Today this scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing." *

These words transformed a scroll's rich prophecy into flesh and blood reality.
The workings of Isaiah's pen from hundreds of years before, were now all wrapped up in skin and dusty sandals and just standing there before them. 
You held their eyes, their minds marvelled at your words, 
but did they see? did they worship?
Did they see that as you read it, 
the very words of their only hope were read by the very One who was all of that hope fulfilled. 

Do we see? Do we worship?

You came for them, and you came for us.
We are the favored people, a rescued people, the proclaiming people. 
Your good news is our eternal story.
Your liberty is our forever living.
Your favor is our unending feast.

On that day, in a Nazareth Synagogue, 
and on this day, in my soul, 
you speak Your very Self, the Full-filling Word, 
in my hearing.
And here it is, 
your before-ages-began intentions of benevolent grace, 
your pursuing and saving love, 
stringing out on words formed by Deity's vocal chords and resounding in real time to my soul's ear.
And here is worship.

*Scripture referenced from Luke chapter 4:16-21

"And he came to Nazareth, where he had been brought up.  And as was his custom, he went to the synagogue on the Sabbath day,  and he stood up to read.

And the scroll of the prophet Isaiah was given to him.  He unrolled the scroll and found the place where it was written,

"The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed,

to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor."

And he rolled up the scroll and gave it back to the attendant and sat down.  And the eyes of all in the synagogue were fixed on him.

And he began to say to them, "Today this Scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing."

And all spoke well of him and marveled at the gracious words  that were coming from his mouth..."